today...

...i watched this video of radiohead...

.. width="425" height="350">

today...

...i was reminded that i was getting older. not because of my birthday, but because of my ever-thinning hair...

spinning

the colors all swirl together
as i spin round and round and round
until everything looks white with a pale red line in the center
i try to decide what's better
than this
but so far i can think of nothing

i do this for some time
spin
i do this for as long as i can
it seems like forever but
it's probably only for a few seconds
then i hit the floor
and the world spins around me for a change

as i lie there on my unvaccuumed carpet
i think
"shit,
this is my life"
that sinks in
then i get up
smile
and spin some more

the knot

so a buddy of mine is getting married. let's call him "ian." no, wait - that's his real name. let's call him "john."

i've been married for like 8 months now (thereby making me a seasoned veteran) and i think i can shed some light on what a feller in his situation is going through. (i'll elaborate on the striking differences later.)

what i remember most about the week leading up to the nuptuals as the fear.

fear that things wouldn't go right.

fear that the folks coming in from out of town wouldn't have a place to stay.

fear that i would projectile vomit moments before i was supposed to say, "i do."

and most importantly: fear that i just wasn't ready to get married.

okay, time for some exposition: i fell in love with (who is now) my wife the very first time i laid eyes on her. seriously. it took, however, four years to get her to go out with me.

*interesting sidebar - john dated her about 2 years before i did*

but i digress. so, the love thing was not an issue. unless you take the fact that i felt that i loved her far more than she loved me into account. this has yet to be proven, however it is fact that she loves the dog more than she does me. this is just one of the concessions you make as a married man...

i was terrified that it would change my way of life. i was 30 when i got married (and still am for another month) but i felt no different than i did at 19. would being married mean that i could no longer drink beer and watch football? were video games out of the question? comic books? hanging out with the boys? drunken fist-fights with hookers?

answer: all are not only allowed, but expected! except the hooker thing. i can fight them, but i no more bjs. it was a fair compromise.

what i'm trying to say is: before i got married, i had a shit-load of folks telling me that marrige sucks and i was punter for even considering it.

after 8 months, i can tell you that it is the exact opposite. it was the best thing i ever did. now i can hang out all day and night with a cool, smart, hot chick and not have to worry about how i'm going to pay her.

so, to john, i say: congratulations, man! yr girl already understands that hd tv was created to make football look even better, so you should have no problem. (and to tie up all our loose ends) i know that you've spent the better part of 9 years chilin in yr own pad, having free reign and making all rules, but fear not. starting in a week, you'll be able to share that world with the woman you love. and trust me: that's pretty cool.

today...

...i felt french as i worked on my novel while drinking wine and snacking on cheese...

today...

...i walked 10 miles & ate the best omelet i have ever eaten...

a cunning display of secrecy

i am tractor baby
i am moving slowly
i see every color in yr over-sized sweater
twice washed and faintly muted
pulled low
stretched out in the arms
but looking both comfortable and
chic

i am lighting crashing
i am living quickly
i hear the words of angels
but only when i'm drunk
and sleeping with hookers that look
queerly like you did
that last time i saw you
crying

i am hampster baby
i am just like tuesday
i sense big things happening
in the universe
things that will go unexplained
but i'll know their secret history
just don't think that i will share it with you
fucker

you had yr chance

Club T&A

ok, so I went from living in a crazy old woman's cellar, eating rice and beans every night to buying a house with a HOT TUB and a POOL and now I've grown fat on gormet meals and booze.

someone get me a cigar.